Thursday, August 23, 2007
The self portrait project for the month of august was patterns. And I could see patterns everywhere but where could I see pattern of myself.
I could see many of my habitual things I do or think of that create patterns but how to out them onto a picture I don't know. What did come to mind was my chewed on fingernails. I never can seem to leave them alone - a pattern of nervousness(?) perhaps .
I want this playing with self portraits to be a discovery of myself. To push myself into looking at things that I have been ignoring or unaware of but also to discover the beauty within. I know it is there even if the little voice tries to tell me differently. It is about ignoring the self doubt and discovering the positive, the unique and that which is within.
At first glance of this photo I see the pudge - that darn extra weight I have put back on. I could view the extra weight as a positive - that obviously I am not lacking in food and that the food I do have tastes good but that feels like acceptance and if I accept it then perhaps I will not work to lose it. I see the hairs on my belly - hairs you don't see on the models in magazines - yes, I know they airbrush them away before publishing but.....there is the hairs on my belly.
I took this photo because of my freckles. I have freckles here and there all over. As an adult I have come to love my freckles. They are unique, they are fun, they are cute and ...... they form patterns. Sometimes squares, triangles, straight lines, kites, smiley faces and the list goes on. Imagination can tell you what a grouping of my freckles might be. They are something that has been a part of me throughout my life.....a pattern...and a part of me that I love.